Monday, May 19, 2014

inundation

Skirt: How Very Dare via ANTHOM ; Sweater: Topshop ; Shorts: Sammydress

Before I begin: Sorry for the optical illusion quality of these photos. When your porch is nearing 100 years old, things start to warp, making it look like you're crooked in a straight room, when in reality, I'm straight in a crooked room.

I wore this outfit on Saturday evening on a date to Art-a-Whirl in Northeast Minneapolis. Art-a-Whirl is basically a yearly event where a bunch of the artists who have studios in Northeast open up their doors and let people wander around & buy their art. I'd never been before, and actually Minneapolis is pretty foreign to me, being a Saint Paul girl, but it was fun. I'm not much of an art person. I like looking at it, but I'm not really down for discussing art or art technique. I took an art history class last year and it was such a snooze because that just isn't my thing.

Anyways, I decided to wear this How Very Dare maxi skirt to Art-a-Whirl because it's pretty much the closest thing to wearable art that I own. I still cannot get over how beautiful the print is! They have a whole collection of this print - Romance in the Air - on blouses, mini skirts, skater dresses, and more over at their Etsy shop. (I got this maxi at ANTHOM, but it's out of stock now sorry friends.) It was my first time wearing this skirt out in public and I got so many compliments and girls just glaring at me with obvious massive envy in their eyes over how rad my skirt is. Sorry I'm so cool guys. Oh, but wearing a maxi when you have to go up & down a hundred flights of stairs in random artists studios is not fun. Lesson, learned.



I took these photos on my porch today because I was too busy on Saturday to take any. Oh well! I actually wore a grey crop top on Saturday and didn't throw this sweater on until it got chilly in the evening, but dang it's cold out today! 30 seconds on my porch and I was covered in goose bumps, making the sweater necessary for this look. It poured rain all day, so you know, obviously beautiful weather for my day off. It's also been black outside all day, though you would never guess by the way it appears light is pouring into the porch. Never-ending rain and gloomy skies have made for an unproductive day off of sitting on the couch thinking of all the things I should be doing.



I wanted to say a big fat thank you for everyone who left such loving and supportive comments on my last post. It took so much courage for me to post that, and even simply writing it was emotionally draining. I think I bawled my eyes out for 3 hours straight just even having to remember how much pain I was in for those 7 months that my boyfriend was using. This morning, I accidentally deleted a few comments instead of publishing them, so I wanted to confront a couple of things that I think the comments were about. For one, I changed the photos as some people were uncertain about if I should be using those photos. They were clearly taking away from the message of my story, and I didn't want people to be blind to the point of the story just because of some photos. I will not be discussing the photos anymore. Please read my words and have compassion for what I have to say. Second, I will absolutely not be taking that post down. Shame on you for even suggesting that, anon! Silencing my story is only stigmatizing and shaming my pain. Me sharing my story in a public forum will in no way prevent his healing - and deleting it would only prevent my own healing, because yes, I need to heal from it, too. Don't forget that it isn't only the addict who is affected by his using: other people have stories to tell about it, too. We have valid pain and shame from it, too. I wrote that post not to find comfort & solace for myself, I wrote it to help others who have stories similar to mine feel less ashamed & less alone. To delete that post would be to cut off people being troubled in the same way I was. I wrote that post to reduce isolation, and a number of people have already messaged me to tell their own story and say thank you. It lifts my spirit to know that we can get past the stigma of our experiences with addiction and have an open, honest conversation about it. In my relationship with an addict, I was not allowed to share my own feelings about what we were going through. When I did, he stormed out on me or cut me out for days at a time. It only increased the hurt and shame that I felt - hurt and shame that was completely valid. Here I am, sharing my story to help others who feel that same hurt and that same shame. To remove my story would be a disservice to my own healing, as well as the healing of others who are silently suffering. My feelings and my experiences are just as valid as anyone else's who is dealing with addiction. Please respect that. Please try to grow from that.

Now that that tangent is over, I'm off to deal with the joys of student loans! Oh, yippee.

7 comments:

  1. i legit GASPED upon seeing this outfit. i love love love the texture of your sweater with the sheer skirt. it looks incredibly good!

    xo marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

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    1. Marlen, it IS incredible! I've been cuddling this sweater for days because it's amazing. A silky sheer skirt paired with a wonderfully fuzzy sweater is the best feeling in the world (probably).

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  2. This skirt really does have the coolest pattern. It's so pretty and all the colors are gorgeous! I love the fuzzy sweater paired with it too.
    I haven't read your previous post yet, but you're absolutely right that you have the right to write about your experience. Just because you're not the addict doesn't mean you don't have a story to tell.

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  3. DAMN RIGHT you deserve to heal, especially in your own corner of the internet. Relationships with addicts are so difficult and it can be so hard for people to understand the degree of emotional backflips that other person will put you through in order to keep using. I've been there too, and I support you. You deserve to do what you need to do to heal.

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    1. Thank you, Meli! I appreciate the all caps damn right! I agree - I think a lot of people skim over the vast amount of pain caused my addiction, thinking much of it is self-inflicted. We all need to heal, and I heal by being able to talk openly about it. Thanks for the support xx

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  4. You are incredibly beautiful in case you didn't know! That hair! That skin! On a more serious note that envy, I really admire your last post. It was beautiful. You should be proud of yourself for sharing and finding a forum in which you could. I am sorry that you had to experience that but it really speaks volumes of your personality to stick through it all. I am also sorry that the internet is full of trolls who should realise that this is your personal blog, a place for you before sharing their unkind opinions.

    I wish you the best for the future, I am sure that the cliche is true and you will only be stronger from this.

    Lots of love,

    Emma x

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    1. Hi Emma! Thanks for stopping by and thank you for the compliments! (; I agree, it's better to grow stronger and process difficult pieces of our lives rather than to stay quiet and let difficult times weaken us. Hopefully one day people will understand it's okay to talk about things with stigma attached to them xx

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