I don't have a whole lot in my life right now. I wait anxiously for the two days a week when I get to work my part-time job. I spend most of my days at home looking for a full-time job (and finding nothing). I've been lucky enough to catch up with old friends lately - I've gone for numerous coffee dates and have spent a lot of time reminiscing about high school and middle school with these old pals who I haven't seen in years. It's made me extremely grateful that I've met so many wonderful people in my short life - and that for whatever reason, they still want to be my friend. But let's get straight to what I've mostly been doing lately: wallowing. I continue to have an extremely difficult time understanding why my friend is treating me like they are. I was never taught that it's okay to throw people out - that people are disposable objects that you can just trash whenever they become inconvenient to you. This is not an attitude that I was taught. My parents always encouraged me to sort out issues with people who are giving me trouble, and my mother recently complimented me on how closely I tend to my friendships. I guess for that reason, it's really hurting me that I cannot mend things with this friend - the only friend who I currently have any type of grudge with. I spent the past month trying to preserve some type of happy memory to attach to this person, but in the end I'm only left with extreme hurt. At least I have a cat who understands me. And 7 seasons worth of Gilmore Girls episodes to binge on. I just finished painting a cheap bookcase with cheap paint, and I think it's time to break out the water colours again to paint some of the scapes I've been dreaming up in this dreary winter weather.