When the weather is fine

Lace top: Free Press ; Faux leather shorts: Nasty Gal ; Bralette: Spell Designs

I woke up this morning ready to blog. I think my June blogging slump is over with (or so I hope) and I'm ready to go again. I guess we all go through phases where we just don't have anything to say. Our minds are so fixated on one thing that nothing else matters, no other thoughts come in or out. I spent June being all about one thing and I cannot even tell you what that one thing was. Seriously. I have no idea. But my mind was completely elsewhere and not doing anything productive. I woke up today, after a week of productivity, feeling ready to blog again. So, I am back. And I have a lot to do and a lot to say. Heck, I have an entire June to make up for.

If I had to say that my mind was someplace in June, I would have to say that it was fixated on getting ahead. Everything I did and thought and said was about getting ahead. I worked my tail off all month. I put in overtime, I networked, I did everything I could to "get ahead." I put absolutely no focus on my friends and little on my family. Everything was going into very materialistic ideas of what I needed. And none of it amounted to anything, as I shouldn't have expected it to, and here I am in July looking back on June and feeling as if it were wasted.

I am trying to go back to my "go with the flow" type of mentality. Even just a few years ago, I would get so twisted up about every small little disaster or mishap. Years of working in guest services taught me to apply a "whatever happens, happens" mentality to certain areas of my life. I didn't take much personally, and I allowed myself to ebb and flow with what was happening around me. It's only been in the past few months that I've let this mentality spread to all areas of my life - around the time that my (now, ex) boyfriend relapsed and I lost control of what I held dearest in my heart. I realized that I could enter the rockiness of a drug addiction relapse constantly spiraling out of control, wanting everything to be a certain way, or I could let it all unfold as it may and I could stay steadfast and allow these changes to flow around me. So I chose the latter and it helped me through the whole disaster. And even after my (ex) boyfriend disappeared in February, it took me a couple of weeks to embrace that mentality again, but once I did, everything worked again. My life fell back to where it should be - not necessarily where I wanted it, or where it had been...just to where it should be.

So here I am with my life where it should be. I spent June trying to make it something materialistic and boring, something that my life isn't supposed to be. And it felt good to wake up today and have all of that wash off of me, knowing that there are more important things for me to be doing that wringing my hands over the possibility of getting a full-time job I interviewed for, or the stress of managing my team at my campaign job.

Here's what I want my life to be again: My friends. My friends are everything and always bring me back to the reality of what my life really is and really should be. My family. Nothing is more precious than those who I'm fortunate enough to have in my life. I've been learning to respect and embrace every one of these people, despite gossip I've heard, or previous feelings I've held. Because family is where you come from and that says something significant. My goals. My goals are the most important thing that keep me driven and moving forward. They aren't something that I fixate wildly on. But they're there and they keep me in line and remembering who I am and why I am. So, July will be about those things. And hopefully my life will be about those things for some time now. We all have off-months now and then - and I think we need them, really - but it's important to always get back on track.

I'm glad that I no longer label this as a "fashion" blog and feel a need to always center on fashion but...okay...I need to talk about clothes for a minute. So, these shorts. I bought them from Nasty Gal a few months ago. They looked so cute and exactly like what I've been looking for. But then they came and they were this awful plastic and super baggy/not fitted. I really hate them but I try to make them work. So I wore them today in an attempt to make them work. And I still just hate them. I've never once had a successful Nasty Gal purchase. People rave about them but everything I've bought from Nasty Gal is just complete shit. Badly made, poor fitting, terrible quality, and nothing like in the photo. Has anyone else had similar experience? I've quit even buying from them because it's so disappointing.

All that being said, I like this outfit otherwise and will need to try it again with different bottoms. Because something needs to be done with these shorts and when I say something, I mean they need to be ousted from my wardrobe. (Except you know they won't be because I'm still convinced that I'll find some way to wear them.)

I am so filled with joy to find this direction in my life again. And to be back blogging. I've missed you guys! Thanks for the lovely messages asking me where I've been and will I be back soon. I need reminders like those to remember why I blog. You all are the best xx