Saturday, July 5, 2014

When the weather is fine

Lace top: Free Press ; Faux leather shorts: Nasty Gal ; Bralette: Spell Designs

I woke up this morning ready to blog. I think my June blogging slump is over with (or so I hope) and I'm ready to go again. I guess we all go through phases where we just don't have anything to say. Our minds are so fixated on one thing that nothing else matters, no other thoughts come in or out. I spent June being all about one thing and I cannot even tell you what that one thing was. Seriously. I have no idea. But my mind was completely elsewhere and not doing anything productive. I woke up today, after a week of productivity, feeling ready to blog again. So, I am back. And I have a lot to do and a lot to say. Heck, I have an entire June to make up for.

If I had to say that my mind was someplace in June, I would have to say that it was fixated on getting ahead. Everything I did and thought and said was about getting ahead. I worked my tail off all month. I put in overtime, I networked, I did everything I could to "get ahead." I put absolutely no focus on my friends and little on my family. Everything was going into very materialistic ideas of what I needed. And none of it amounted to anything, as I shouldn't have expected it to, and here I am in July looking back on June and feeling as if it were wasted.

I am trying to go back to my "go with the flow" type of mentality. Even just a few years ago, I would get so twisted up about every small little disaster or mishap. Years of working in guest services taught me to apply a "whatever happens, happens" mentality to certain areas of my life. I didn't take much personally, and I allowed myself to ebb and flow with what was happening around me. It's only been in the past few months that I've let this mentality spread to all areas of my life - around the time that my (now, ex) boyfriend relapsed and I lost control of what I held dearest in my heart. I realized that I could enter the rockiness of a drug addiction relapse constantly spiraling out of control, wanting everything to be a certain way, or I could let it all unfold as it may and I could stay steadfast and allow these changes to flow around me. So I chose the latter and it helped me through the whole disaster. And even after my (ex) boyfriend disappeared in February, it took me a couple of weeks to embrace that mentality again, but once I did, everything worked again. My life fell back to where it should be - not necessarily where I wanted it, or where it had been...just to where it should be.


So here I am with my life where it should be. I spent June trying to make it something materialistic and boring, something that my life isn't supposed to be. And it felt good to wake up today and have all of that wash off of me, knowing that there are more important things for me to be doing that wringing my hands over the possibility of getting a full-time job I interviewed for, or the stress of managing my team at my campaign job.

Here's what I want my life to be again: My friends. My friends are everything and always bring me back to the reality of what my life really is and really should be. My family. Nothing is more precious than those who I'm fortunate enough to have in my life. I've been learning to respect and embrace every one of these people, despite gossip I've heard, or previous feelings I've held. Because family is where you come from and that says something significant. My goals. My goals are the most important thing that keep me driven and moving forward. They aren't something that I fixate wildly on. But they're there and they keep me in line and remembering who I am and why I am. So, July will be about those things. And hopefully my life will be about those things for some time now. We all have off-months now and then - and I think we need them, really - but it's important to always get back on track.




I'm glad that I no longer label this as a "fashion" blog and feel a need to always center on fashion but...okay...I need to talk about clothes for a minute. So, these shorts. I bought them from Nasty Gal a few months ago. They looked so cute and exactly like what I've been looking for. But then they came and they were this awful plastic and super baggy/not fitted. I really hate them but I try to make them work. So I wore them today in an attempt to make them work. And I still just hate them. I've never once had a successful Nasty Gal purchase. People rave about them but everything I've bought from Nasty Gal is just complete shit. Badly made, poor fitting, terrible quality, and nothing like in the photo. Has anyone else had similar experience? I've quit even buying from them because it's so disappointing.

All that being said, I like this outfit otherwise and will need to try it again with different bottoms. Because something needs to be done with these shorts and when I say something, I mean they need to be ousted from my wardrobe. (Except you know they won't be because I'm still convinced that I'll find some way to wear them.)





I am so filled with joy to find this direction in my life again. And to be back blogging. I've missed you guys! Thanks for the lovely messages asking me where I've been and will I be back soon. I need reminders like those to remember why I blog. You all are the best xx

7 comments:

  1. You know how much I adore you, and your writing (and this space), so I'm happy to hear you're out of the slump. It happens. But then, life happens, and ultimately we have to - as you mention - go with the flow at times. You've been incredibly busy, doing work-stuff (which I completely admire you for), and I guess that's what June was for. Here's hoping July will bring you time with family and friends, and allow you the opportunity to check in with your goals every now and again. It's good to remember the important stuff, and to try to spend less time fretting about the stuff that isn't so, or is a little out of our own control (says the gal who is failing at finding a job - I'm trying to convince myself of this, too, and tell myself if it happens, it happens!). Much love to you, dear friend <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess that that was what June was for! And don't admire me too much for my work stuff. It really isn't healthy when you're not balancing it with other things - especially as there are so many more important things. Good luck with your own job search. I know how extremely difficult it is. It was good for me to give it a break, but now I'm back to applying and dreading it once more.

      Delete
  2. Oh I am exactly the same when it comes to items i dont actually like or dont fit me. I keep thinking that one day, one day, I will need this item in my life haha. But because I was coming back home from uni I ended up having a massive clear out not long ago however and I have no regrets! Feels great to have less stuff, ya know?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it does! I think I definitely need to cleanse my wardrobe again. It's packed full right now and just feels chaotic more than anything.

      Delete
  3. Aw I don't think those shorts look bad on you! I like to browse the Nasty Gal website because they have cool stuff but I've never made a purchase. Most of it is too expensive for me. It sucks that those shorts are crappy.
    Anyway, I hope your July goes better than June did. I'm trying to go with the flow too. You focusing on friends and family sounds like a solid start. Makes me wish I had more friends! haha

    Jamie | PetitePanoply.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm pretty sure this blog slump is kinda global atm! I've definitely had a month where blogging has taken a backseat to life. Let's make up for it this July together, yeah? Encourage each other haha! Are you taking any trips this month? I'm heading up to Scotland to see family and spend a week camping on the beach, which I'm soooo looking forward to as a time to properly escape everything!
    I've never ordered anything from Nasty Gal before but always love everything on their website, so I might be a little wary now about taking the plunge. Maybe the fact that you're petite alters the fit? I'll let you know how I get on if I do order anything!
    lily x
    www.jolihouse.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to know that the slump is global! I've been in so much of a slump that I haven't even been attempting to read other blogs as I normally do. Have an awesome time in Scotland. My friend just got home from a year-long study abroad there and it sounded amazing.

      I'm not sure about Nasty Gal - I think it's all just such terrible quality. And I think their fit is way way off. I don't usually have issues with clothes/fitting normal sized clothes, save for bringing up a hemline here & there.

      Delete

Thank you for reading Of North! I write my blog very thoughtfully and with tremendous love, so all comments are read and taken to heart. Please note that I retain the right to remove any comments which I find to be rude, petty, or unnecessarily negative. Of North is a happy space and I appreciate it if comments reflect that same positivity!